You have now passed inside the sacred realm of
Yes, I am the mysterious Prophet Patsy. It was my love for Scott Bakula which caused this cult to spring into being, so I guess I am pretty important. But unlike some of the other prophets, I have tried to prevent Scott from running my everyday life. I like to think of myself as a rational and independent leader of an underground cult. Yes, I can tell you for sure that Scott Bakula has no actual power. I don't believe in the power of any man who hasn't given me an orgasm.
How did I get to be a cult leader? Well, the first step is to get really obsessed with a minor Hollywood star. To be honest, my favorite minor Hollywood star is Bruce Campbell, but that dumbass Duckman heard the wrong voices, and I ended up with a picture of Scott Bakula. Now, Scott's cool and all, but if this were the cult of Bruce Campbell, then I might be excited. At least he has the power to turn me on!
Of course, thanks to the Mental Institute, I've learned to love the voices in Duckman's head, and so I guess the Cult of Scott Bakula is pretty cool...
One of my true loves in my non-cult life is photography. As such, I have used my small divinely-ordained powers to declare myself the official photographer of the cult. It isn't exactly clear what this means, except that if you try to use any of the copyrighted images on this web site, I will sue your ass, and that will be a way worse fate than being struck down by Scott Bakula. I guarantee it!
KILL THE UNBELIEVERS!! SCOTT commands it.
Once while I was on an expedition trying to recruit the elusive Washington Sasquatch into our cult, I felt the power of Scott come over me. I was right there, in the middle of nature... It felt like getting that perfect photograph--it just makes you feel really good. In fact, I stood with that expression on the right for some 10 minutes until the people I was with called for a park ranger. Clearly, they didn't understand the power of Scott Bakula...
Thinking about SCOTT makes me all tingly inside...
HURRY! Act now and order "Cults Gone Wild" 2-DVD set and get "Patsy and Sharon Get Naked Again" and "Patsy's Stuck in a Tube" BOTH for only $9.95!
You won't believe the insane pictures you'll get! And just try to get us to stop billing your credit card! You can't!
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